Only Human
by Belita Girl
Summary: One shot. An error of Egon's causes a fight amongst the team. While walking off his troubles he runs into the person who can help him to overcome problems while helping to remove his defenses in the process. Slight language and adult situations.


Only Human: A Real Ghostbusters Story

Disclaimer: I don't own The Ghostbusters.

Authoresses Note: This is my first Ghostbusters story. It's an oneshot but it's a sort of prequel to another one, a longer one, I have in mind. I hope you all enjoy. Oh and this would take place after te 'Janine, You've Changed' episode.

* * *

He was only human after all, what did they expect? 

A tall figure was walking along the deserted street. Night had fallen and dim street lights provided little light, or comfort for that matter, from the chilly darkness. As the figure passed under the dull light his features could just be made out. He had wavy blonde hair and blue eyes which were currently downcast. They viewed the ground through the glasses he wore. His head was hung and his hands had been shoved into his pockets. His frame gave an aura of sadness. Not like there was anyone even there to see it.

Heaving an almighty sigh he wearily lowered his body onto the nearest bench. He felt drained, tired. Sleep had become a rarity it seemed. In his line of work that was to be expected but it had never been like this. They were being worked over time and now they had, well more specifically he had, paid the price. A lack of sleep caused a significant decrease in the quality of one's work he had discovered. And it made everyone else very, very cranky.

_Their latest project had been terribly time consuming. When they weren't out hunting down ghosts they were slaving over blue prints and designs for their latest equipment. The old equipment had been wearing out and they were overdue for an update. The proton packs from the old equipment were still good to use however. It had been his job to switch the packs into the new guns and harnesses and test them to make sure they were in working order. _

_The first part of his job went smoothly. Things started going downhill once he got started on the second part. A good portion of the time that went into the newest project was time that was usually reserved for sleep. Somehow while finishing up the switches his mind finally agreed with his body that enough was enough and that he was going to sleep whether he liked it or not. After fighting to keep his eyelids open he managed to fall into a deep sleep at his lab bench. Five hours later, although it seemed like five minutes later, the alarm bell sounded through the fire house. He jumped to his feet and grabbed one of the new, and untested, models. He hesitated for a second as he looked at it. It certainly wasn't like to do such a mediocre job. He could always explain to his friends that they'd have to wait until he was sure they would work. But the other three Ghostbusters had already dashed into the room. Instead of stopping them he merely pointed at the table and assumed that he had done everything right and everything would go smoothly. _

_He wasn't wrong too often but when he was it usually had catastrophic results. _

_They had been called to the scene of a haunting. A wild demon had been terrorizing an apartment complex. The situation had been under control in the beginning. The four had the demon cornered and as Peter was just about to throw the trap it happened. _

_Ray gave a sudden yell of shock as his gun backfired. He hadn't been hurt, merely surprised at the sudden small explosion. The gun now lay on the ground, smoking and useless. He and Winston lost their concentration as they turned their heads to see if their friend was okay. They had failed to notice that the beams from their own guns were weakening until both suddenly died in their hands. _

_Peter tried to open the trap but it had been too late by that point. With nothing holding him down the demon was free. He detoured around the trap and jumped out the window suddenly unsheathing wings that had been kept hidden until that point. _

_Peter and Winston rushed over to see if Ray was alright. He approached the three numbly as they helped Ray to his feet. Peter rarely lost his temper but due to fatigue and not to mention the seriousness of the situation he was absolutely raging. _

_"What's your problem Egon?" He snapped as he whipped around to face him. He only came up to about Egon's neck but he still made the taller man take a step backwards. "I thought you said the equipment had been tested properly!"_

_Egon couldn't find anything to say. He knew he was to blame but he couldn't find anything that would calm his friend down. _

_"I'm...I'm sorry. It's just I've been working really hard-" He started but Peter cut across him. _

_"We've all been working really hard! But there's no excuse for this happening! He could've been killed Egon! We all could've been killed! What's more is that, that thing is running loose through the city!" He shouted further. _

_Egon, too overcome by guilt, found no response. _

_Ray and Winston didn't look particularly happy with him but they were holding back their tempers. Ray stopped leaning on Winston for support and stepped up. _

_"Calm down Peter." He said calmly. "I trust Egon. If it was an accident then I believe him. He's the most responsible person we've got and I doubt he'd do something that negligent. Come on Egon, tell them you checked the packs and there was just an error." Ray pleaded. _

_Egon opened his mouth to speak. He could lie. He could say he checked the packs. But Ray's trusting look was making him feel terribly guilty. He couldn't lie to any of them. He had to take responsibility for his actions. _

_He lowered his head. "I'm sorry Ray. I'm sorry everyone. I didn't get to test the proton packs."_

_Peter was still looking murderous. "Why?" He hissed. _

_"I...I was sleeping. I tried to stay awake but next thing I knew..." He shrugged before he could finish his sentence. _

_Peter's anger hadn't diminshed but Egon was heart broken to see the looks of disappointment on the other two's faces. He couldn't bare to stay. _

_"I...I have to go. I'd help you but...I'd only get in the way some more." He managed to tell them before he hastily spun on his heels and walked towards the stairs. _

_None of them called him back and that hurt even more, not that he could blame them. _

Still wearing his uniform he sighed once more as he thought back to the earlier events of the evening. It must've been hours since he left them at the apartments but he couldn't bear to face them yet. Problem was he had no where to stay. He got to his feet heavily and was about to start walking again when he heard a scream coming from a couple of blocks away. A woman's scream.

He turned in the direction of the scream and started running. It was late out; no woman should be wandering around that this hour. His feet carried him right to a back alley where two people were situated. A woman had backed herself against the wall clutching something to her chest. A man was leering close to her.

"I'm going to give you one more chance girly. Give me the purse or else." He spoke with a rough voice, his back was facing Egon so he had no idea he was there.

"Go to hell!" A strangely familiar feminine voice came from the woman.

The man growled and leapt at her Egon wasted no time in leaping on his back. He wasn't a fighter by nature but his size gave him considerable power to defend himself.

The man shouted in shock and he pushed the woman to side. She fell with a grunt as Egon got the underhand and shoved the man against the wall.

"Don't ever harm a lady!" He hissed angrily into the man's ear. He gave his arm a twist to show he meant business. The man gave a grunt of pain and struggled to get free. Egon let go and watched him dash off before turning to the lady who was still on the ground.

"Are you alright?" He asked gently as he offered her his arm.

"Don't you touch me!" She shrieked. Only one person Egon knew could shriek like that, the Brooklyn accent was unmistakable.

"Janine?" He asked. In the darkness he saw her look up to his face. As his eyes adjusted he could make out her glasses, glinting slightly.

"Egon? Is that you?" She asked. He nodded and held out his arm further. She wasted no time in gripping it and allowing him to help her up. He led her out of the alleyway and she looked up at him, studying him in the light.

"Oh Egon. I don't know what would've happened if you hadn't shown up." She told him gratefully.

"You're lucky was out and heard you scream." He said. She was shaking slightly and Egon felt bad he didn't have a jacket to give to her. Although he doubted she was shaking from the cold. "Let me walk you home okay?" He asked. She gave a grateful nod.

She hadn't released his arm but he didn't say anything. He didn't mind actually but there was something that always prevented him from saying so.

She looked up at him and studied his face and expression. "How come you're out here all alone anyways?" She asked him curiously.

"I could ask you the same thing. Besides why wouldn't you have just given him your purse? I know there's probably some important things in their but certainly your life is worth more than a couple of credit cards." He told her.

"I've dealt with rough men before." She said simply. "Besides you're evading my question. Why are you out here all alone and troubled?"

He was taken aback. "I'm not troubled!" He said indignantely. "I just wanted to take a walk!"

"At twelve o'clock in the morning?"

"Yes as a matter of fact. So what's your excuse?"

"I was visiting my friend Susan and stayed too late. She was a little tipsy so I didn't want her to have to walk me home."

"Oh." He said simply. Nothing more was said until they stopped in front of her apartment.

"Next time just call me if you need an escort home. Are you sure you'll be alright?" He asked. He felt suddenly warm inside as he offered to have her call him.

She gave a smile. "I'm fine. And thanks Egon." He watched her just to make sure she got inside alright. Before she disappeared through the door she turned back to him.

"Would you like to come up for awhile? It doesn't look like you're going anywhere in a hurry." She said.

He was about to protest when he realized it was true. He wasn't in a hurry to go anywhere. "That would be enjoyable." He said and followed inside. They made it up to her apartment. It wasn't huge but it wasn't small either. It had simple yet effective decorations. He found himself sort of attached to it. It was different than sharing a room with three other guys. This apartment was clean and organized. It was a nice change.

"Come on in. The living room is right there so make yourself at home." She pointed him into the direction. "I'll be right back with some cocoa."

He sat himself down on the sofa. He found himself feeling slightly awkward being alone in her living room. Luckily she walked in minutes later carrying two steaming mugs of cocoa. Handing one to him she said, "So what's bothering you?"

He had just been taking a small sip of his cocoa but that question caused him to nearly choke. "Noth-" He started to say but was cut off.

"Don't even say it. I can see it in your eyes. It's not nothing." She said it firmly but gently. He gave a defeated sigh.

"Okay. I'm not on good terms with my friends right now. I did something extremely...foolish." He confessed.

She raised an eyebrow. "Tell me." She said as she gave his arm a small squeeze. He wanted to say no but found that under her touch he felt comfortable. She seemed to soothe his jangled nerves. He took a deep breath and lanuched into the story.

"...And that's what happened." He said as he finished. She looked sympathetic. He didn't like her looking at him with sympathy, it made him feel like he'd messed things up even more.

When she didn't say anything he assumed that she had lost all respect for him. He couldn't blame her though. He got up to leave but let out a small gasp when her small hand found his larger calloused one.

"Don't go. I know you're upset but you should let them cool off. I know you made a mistake but it's not entirely your fault. You did your best." She soothed him.

"It is though. It's my entire fault. I had the perfect chance to warn them. And what's more is I walked out on them when they needed to catch that demon." He said shakily. He felt a lump in his throat and his eyes held tears that refused to fall.

"It's not. Stay here for the night. You can calm down a bit and so can they. You'll be best buds again in the morning." She promised with a smile. "I'll take my guest room. You can have my room if you'd like."

In spite of his fears he smiled back, forcing the lump down for at least a little longer. "Thanks, I'd love to stay. But really I'd be happy with just a couch. You take your bedroom and I can have whatever's left."

After some light arguments she finally gave up and let him take the guest room. He thanked her and told her he'd turn in and she smiled and bid him goodnight. Once in the bedroom he stripped off his Ghostbusters uniform and lay his weary body on the soft mattress. As soon as he was out of her presence the lump returned. There were more than a couple of things bothering him. He thought that with all his lack of sleep he'd have fallen into a slumber by now but that wasn't the case. He lay awake for a long time, listening to the sound of the tap running in the kitchen. Janine must've been washing dishes he thought to himself.

He got to his feet silently. He was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt underneath his uniform but he was dying to ask her something. It was eating away at him. Usually he could bury his feelings and emotions but today his defenses, his cool and calm exterior, had come crashing down. He needed to see her.

As he predicted she was washing dishes. He stood about four meters away. Her back was turned to him and she was humming a quiet song.

"What do you see in me?" He asked, keeping his voice as steady as he could.

She dropped the dish she was holding into a sink full of soapy water in shock. "Egon? What's all this about?" She asked as she turned around but then she noticed his face.

Silent tears poured down his face. He looked so lost and depressed. His expression showed one of emotional turmoil. She took a step towards him. "Egon. Please tell me what's wrong?" She pleaded.

What was left of his already fragile barriers came crashing down. He buried his head in his hands and sobbed. His shoulders moved up and down and Janine felt devastated to see him like this. His knees seemed to stagger and she swiftly moved up to reach him. She wrapped her arms around him, like a mother comforting a child, and the two of them lowered themselves to the floor. She held his head in her arms and rested her head on his. He was still sobbing and she was heart broken that she didn't know how to confront him.

"Egon. Please. Just tell me." She whispered as tears prickled in her eyes. His sobs subsided and he removed his glasses. His face was still tear-streaked but he seemed to have calmed down.

"What does a person like you see in a person like me?" He asked miserably. "I'm useless, I let my team down, and I'm not as brave as the others think. I could be easily replaced by the combined minds of Ray and the others but I don't know why they keep me around. I'm not as fun as they are. You'd be much better off with one of them. I hate how you pine over me when you could have so much more." He told her. She still held onto his head as if she were never going to let go.

"I don't love them. I love you, I love you and all your flaws. Everyone has them. We're only human Egon. And you're completely irreplaceable. To the guys, and to me. They won't kick you out for your mistake today. I guarantee it. Even if they did then they weren't very good friends in the first place." She told him as she did her best not to cry. He was so insecure. How could someone so smart be so insecure?

"I wish you didn't love me." He said sadly. "I feel something deep for you but...I always hold myself back from making you become more attached. The last thing I want to do is hurt you and I'm so afraid that's what will happen. I wish you loved someone else so I wouldn't have to keep pretending I don't care about you in that way." He confessed.

"Don't ever pretend Egon. I don't ever want to hear you pretending ever again. I want you to know that I love you and I accept everything about you, the whole package. I don't care about some other guys. I've only wanted you. And you don't have to pretend. It hurts me more to have you pretend." She told him.

Silent tears ran down his cheeks. She knew, she had him found out. He had been stripped of his defenses and was feeling very vulnerable. But her arms made him feel safe. They were his safety. His haven. They offered him something nothing else had ever offered him. A place to be himself.

"I love you." He whispered. The tears still fell but time stood still for a moment as he let her raise his head to look her in the eye. The look her eyes were giving him was one of equal devotion and affection. He knew that she could be his liberation from his insecurities and guilt. He knew that he was hers now. She held his head in her hands and moved her own head closer. Their lips were inches apart and she held them there for just a second before closing the gap and letting them touch.

His cheeks were still wet from the tears as they kissed. She just wanted to kiss him until he didn't feel so guilty or insecure. She wanted to kiss him until the tears dried away. The kiss started gentle but gradually he allowed himself to respond. He hadn't known himself to feel so many emotions all at once but she seemed to keep him down to earth. His arms found their way to her back and he wrapped them around her waist. She wrapped her own arms around his neck in response. They were still sitting on the ground but the only thing they were aware of at the moment was each other. They were in their own world, soaring higher with every touch and kiss.

Eventually Janine broke the kiss and looked deep into his eyes. She wanted, no, needed to show him how far her love ran. She grabbed his hand and led him into her bedroom. He stood awkwardly beside her bed as they got there. He looked up at her sheepishly.

"Are you sure?" He asked. His voice sounded hoarse. She nodded slowly as she undid her blouse slowly and lowered herself down. He lost what was left of his control and lowered himself on top of her, searching for her lips with his own. The kissing led to hastily undressing each other. They took things slow. Their bodies found a rhythm and they moved in unison. Egon hadn't remembered a time when he felt like this and Janine couldn't imagine what it was like without him.

He found himself moaning as all reality became lost in a haze of love and desire. Her fingertips lightly grazed his back, working their way up to the very top of his neck causing a shiver to run down his spine. But he was far from cold, quite far from it in fact as she screamed out his name. It sounded through his ears and continued to ring through his mind. It sounded like nothing he had heard before. No other lover came close to making him feel the way she did.

The next morning Egon felt a slight confusion as he woke up. He knew he wasn't in his own bed. As he felt her smooth skin against his hand he remembered everything. She was curled up against his body and he had his arm draped over her. He gave a small smile as he realized how whole he felt. He felt like he was on top of the world and couldn't be brought down.

The sound of a cell phone startled him out of his thoughts and Janine out of her slumber. They realized it was coming from the guest bedroom where Egon's uniform was. His ecstatic feelings fell as he realized it was probably his friends. They were probably worried about him. He still held her in his arms and as she looked up at him he gave her a gentle kiss on the lips.

"Go get it." She said. "Just remember that I'm always here and I will always love you." She said from her position on the bed. He smiled a deep and affectionate smile, one not normally seen of Egon.

"I know. I love you too." He replied. He pulled on his discarded clothes from the night before. After he got back into uniform and made himself more presentable it was time to say goodbye for now. Neither wanted to be parted but they knew that even when separated they would be together.

Besides, Janine thought as she heard the front door close, she accepted every single last detail of him, fears and everything. He was only human after all.


End file.
